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Friday, December 20, 2013

2013-12-20 - Friday Whisper – My Hero…

If your IQ is 5 yet you are using 100% of your brain capacity, you are my hero…

If you were born with a disability yet you tried your best to learn and move on with your life, you are my hero…

If you just moved to a new country and started a new life with a spouse and kids, you are my hero…

If you are a single parent who is working hard on giving yourself and your children a better life, you are my hero…

If you went against all odds and made your dream come true, you are my hero…

If you stood up for you what you believed in and paid a price for it, you are my hero…

If you got cancer or any other disease and fought it with all what you can, you are my hero…

If you face your own weaknesses and daemons and try to work them out, you are my hero…

If despite hardships, you stuck to your values, you are my hero…

If you went thru bad marriage or relationship yet you kept believing in love, you are my hero…

If you were severely hurt and felt like betrayed yet you are able to forgive and let go, you are my hero…

If you can put a smile on a human being’s face, you are my hero…

Heroes are not only those who make the known heroic acts like saving lives or fighting battles…

Heroes are the ones who face their own challenges and give all what it takes to overcome them…

Heroes are the ones who understand the responsibilities that come with their choices and bear them…

Heroes are the ones who decide to lead their lives rather than being victims of their own circumstances…

Heroes are the ones who keep standing up after each failure until they succeed…

Christopher Reeves, an American actor, said: “I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.”

And Dean Koontz, an American author, said: “People who go to work every day, make sacrifices to raise families, and get through life without hurting other people if they can help it- those are the real heros.”

You are my hero when you don’t give up and you don’t lose hope…
You are my hero when you become your own hero…

This whisper is dedicated to one of my heroes, my bestest friend Afaf, who just got her PhD degree after a lot of persistence, perseverance, tough time, hard work and patience… you made it, and made us all, family & friends, proud of you, above all your pride & joy, Farah &Zouheir… we love you! :)


Rania Hammoud, Life Coach
www.perfectmind.ca
www.twitter.com/Rania_Hammoud
Check also my blog athttp://raniahammoud.blogspot.com
Or http://raniahammoud.wordpress.com

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Thursday, November 28, 2013

2013-11-22 - Friday Whisper – Sexy Lemonada!

Sexy Lemonada sent me an inspirational whisper for this week. When I read it, it made me reflect on how sometimes, out of nowhere, something comes out to shake us upside down, to force us to stop and reflect on our lives, to force us to start our happiness project…before it is too late…

********
BUSY all Day! IS IT TOO LATE TO SCHEDULE HAPPINESS!!!

 "Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin".
 
Everyone wants to be HAPPY. Some just wanna be CONTENT. But sometimes it takes an extraordinary situation to make us change our habits in order to take the time or make the changes that might lead to a happier state of being.

When you are sitting across from the doctors desk & they tell you that the results are positive and the (medical team) starts to talk about, stages, grades, surgery, port, etc...You do not necessarily think about the diagnosis, but you start thinking about...TIME..........ALL the time that you wasted being sad instead of HAPPY.YOU start to Think of REGRET. I should have said yes, I would have, I could Have, Why did I say next time. YES, YES, damn it YES.  You are angry at yourself.        

 Living in the moment becomes the most IMPORTANT THING.

I recently came across the HAPPINESS PROJECT. It is a book written by Gretchen Rubin. She embarks on a happiness mission an 'EXPERIMENT' for one year. Her book is about her adventures.

Another Good read:  EAT, PRAY, LOVE: by Elizabeth Gilbert.
A woman's Journey to finding happiness.

Start your own happiness project by visiting: www.happiness-project.com

Please enjoy the next clip from the movie EAT, PRAY, LOVE. Julia Roberts is amazing. Hmmmm! I think I want PIZZA.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYk84rX9hcY&feature=player_embedded

Sexy Lemonada

 *******

Jim Valvano, an American basketball coach and broadcaster, said: “Cancer can take away all of my physical abilities. It cannot touch my mind, it cannot touch my heart, and it cannot touch my soul.”

And Joseph Addison, an English poet and politician said: “Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures.”

And you, when will your happiness project start?
Rania Hammoud, Life Coach
www.perfectmind.ca
www.twitter.com/Rania_Hammoud
Check also my blog at http://raniahammoud.blogspot.com 
Or http://raniahammoud.wordpress.com

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Friday, November 8, 2013

2013-11-08 - Friday Whisper – We are…


We are the result of our surroundings, our culture, our parents, our education, our life experiences and what we went through…

How we see ourselves is most of the time how our parents made us feel, or how we see our raw model, our parent of the same sex - mom or dad.

If your parents didn’t show you much love or appreciation, it is not because they didn’t love you, it is maybe because they didn’t know how to show it, neither did their parents express it to them…

We cannot blame our parents, as they are the result of their own parents. We don’t know what were their challenges when they grew up, we don’t know what were the daemons they fought.

Maybe your dad has always blamed his luck for his ordinary job, that’s why you grew up thinking that you only need luck to succeed in life…

Maybe your mom had always victimized herself, that’s why you grew up thinking all women are weak or refusing to live your femininity…

Maybe your dad screamed at you when you did something wrong, because his dad did that too and it is the only way he knew for how to deal with such situation.

Maybe your mom called you a “failure” because she wanted to provoke you to improve yourself or maybe she didn’t want you to end up as a failure, the way she had always seen herself…

Most of the parents behave, out of a good will, in a way to make you understand or reach something… little did they know that you will get a different message, sometimes one that has a negative effect on you.

And what we end up might affect how we lead our lives, take decisions, choose our partners and raise our kids. As much as we refuse one or both of our parents, we might end up becoming them or choosing a partner like them to make him/her pay for what our parent did, forgetting that he/she is not our parent!

We need to take the step of facing our own fears, adjust our distorted image of our own gender identity and that of opposite gender, to be able to show the appropriate image for our children and break the chain here!

Louis L’Amour, an American author, said: “Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, their lack of good fortunes or the quirks of fate. Everyone has within them the power to say, ‘This I am today, that I shall become tomorrow.’ The wish, however, must be implemented by deeds.”

Whether we love or hate ourselves, admire or despise our image, it may be caused by others, yet it is still our own responsibility of how to deal with it…



Rania Hammoud, Life Coach
www.perfectmind.ca
www.twitter.com/Rania_Hammoud
Check also my blog at http://raniahammoud.blogspot.com 
Or http://raniahammoud.wordpress.com

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Friday, October 18, 2013

2013-10-18 - Friday Whisper – Embrace!


I bet each one of you knows a family member, a friend, a neighbor or a colleague, who is diabetic, or with high blood pressure, heart problems, kidney disease, some kind of cancer or any other physical illness…

What do you think would happen if you alienate them, if you call them “different” or living “in their own world”? How would this affect their health situation in your opinion? On the other hand, how would your support helps them get thru their sickness? Thru tough times and ordinary days?

Now what if the same ones have a mental illness instead of a physical one. Would you behave differently? How would your behavior help them again to go thru their challenges?

You see, a mental illness is a disorder of one’s thinking or feeling, just as diabetes is a disorder of the pancreas. Mental illness can affect anyone, at any age, from any social class, gender, religion or race.

People don’t get it because they are not strong enough or smart enough; they get it because of a mental disorder, which is not their fault. And you can’t tell them simply how they should function or what they should do, since it is not just another unpaid bill or unsatisfied job they don’t know how to deal with, for you to suggest solutions. They need professional help and they can be cured with one.

In some cases, they got it after they went thru very challenging situations which, if we’ve been thru ourselves, there is no guarantee that we will come out intact… in some cases, we might even be in a worse situation than them.

Mental illness is just like any other illness that may be cured with proper treatment and support system. For some, it may take longer; for others, it might be a lifetime illness they have to live with, just like some physical illnesses.

Negative stereotypes or the stigma about such illnesses may lead us to mistreat those patients, sometimes with violence, bullying, condescendence, or even worse, negligence and indifference. As a result, they will hesitate seeking help for fear of being judged by society: they’d rather stay ill than be rejected…

Don’t pity them, don’t treat them with sympathy, they are not incomplete human beings… treat them with empathy, just like how you would like to be treated if you were in their shoes, since you are not immune!

Jane Pauley, an American TV anchor and journalist, said: "My goal is to see that mental illness is treated like cancer."

And Bill Clinton, an American ex-president, said: “Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of, but stigma and bias shame us all”

If we don’t understand what they are going thru, it is not their problem, it is ours…Ditch the stigma and Embrace them!


Rania Hammoud, Life Coach
www.perfectmind.ca
www.twitter.com/Rania_Hammoud
Check also my blog at http://raniahammoud.blogspot.com 
Or http://raniahammoud.wordpress.com

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Friday, October 4, 2013

2013-10-04 - Friday Whisper – Ice Cream…


Have you seen a toddler eating an ice cream? he hums and babbles and smiles while eating, feeling the happiest ever.

Now have you seen yourself eating that same ice cream? You might finish eating it without even noticing it!

And it is the same ice cream here and there. The difference lies in you and the toddler.
How come the same ice cream can bring joy to a toddler and not to you? It is because happiness comes from the inside, not from the outside. An ice cream doesn’t have a happiness ingredient in it, otherwise I would have cooked all my meals using it!

It is the happiness that is within the toddler that gets out and shows while he’s eating that ice cream.

What happened to the happiness inside you? Are you still waiting for an external event to make you happier? A new car? A house? A new job? Meeting a new girlfriend/boyfriend?

Many of who committed suicide in the world had more than one car and owned more than a house. Many CEO’s aren’t happy as we might think. And a new girlfriend/boyfriend not sure they want to be with you, a person who can’t provide happiness, otherwise you would have made yourself happy!

You won’t be happy when you will be successful or rich or married or a parent, you will be all of this and more, when you are happy… Happiness boosts everything in your life.

Brian Weiss, and American psychotherapist, said: “Happiness comes from within. It is not dependent on external things or on other people. You become vulnerable and can be easily hurt when your feelings of security and happiness depend on the behavior and actions of other people. Never give your power to anyone else.”

And Helen Keller, said:“A happy life consists not in the absence, but in the mastery of hardships.”

Do whatever it takes to bring out your own happiness… Dig deep in your soul, fight your own daemons, turn back and look into the eyes of your own fears, and let your inner light shine again…



Rania Hammoud, Life Coach
www.perfectmind.ca
www.twitter.com/Rania_Hammoud
Check also my blog at http://raniahammoud.blogspot.com 
Or http://raniahammoud.wordpress.com

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Saturday, September 21, 2013

2013-09-20 - Friday Whisper – Different Languages…


When your man tells you something, he means only what he says, no more nor less. If you look up the meaning of his words in a dictionary, he would be meaning that exact definition, nothing else.

If he says “the meal you prepared needs some salt”, he doesn’t mean that you don’t know how to cook neither does he mean that his mother cooks better than you! And when he finishes his statement, it ends there! He doesn’t dwell on it for two more days! Moreover, the next time he repeats that sentence, he already forgot that he said it last week, unless you remind him!!!

Most of the fights in couples are caused by the misunderstanding that happens between what one person says and what the other hears by it.

Women tend to use words that can hold different meaning. Men would understand only the basic meaning; they cannot understand the emotions attached to the words to predict what women want really to say…

Men communicate what they think, women communicate what they feel.

This is when the frustration begins, she feels that he doesn’t feel her pain that she is being misunderstood, and he feels too confused, trying so hard to understand what she wants.

When she is talking, don’t try to find her solution, just pay attention to her feelings, and tell her that you understand her pain (even if you don’t understand her words!), because she needs to feel that you are supporting her. If she wants a solution, she knows how to find one.

When he is talking, just take his words as they are, and validate your understanding with him before judging him. If he means something else, he will say something else.

John Gray, an American author, in his book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, said: “When a man can listen to a woman's feelings without getting angry and frustrated, he gives her a wonderful gift. He makes it safe for her to express herself. The more she is able to express herself, the more she feels heard and understood, and the more she is able to give a man the loving trust, acceptance, appreciation, admiration, approval, and encouragement that he needs.”

Listen to him with your logic. Listen to her with your heart.


Rania Hammoud, Life Coach
www.perfectmind.ca
www.twitter.com/Rania_Hammoud
Check also my blog at http://raniahammoud.blogspot.com 
Or http://raniahammoud.wordpress.com

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Friday, August 23, 2013

2013-08-23 - Friday Whisper – Humanity…


I looked up the word “Humanity” in Wikipedia, it says:

“As a virtue, a set of strengths focused on tending and befriending others.
As a nature, psychological characteristics that members of the humans species have in common.”

I went further and looked up “Humans”:
“Humans are distinguished from other primates by their bipedal locomotion, and especially by their relatively larger brain which enable high levels of abstract reasoning, language, problem solving, and culture through social learning. Humans use tools to a much higher degree than any other animal”

Then I looked up “Reason”:
“Reason is the capacity for consciously making sense of things”

And “Consciously” led to:
“Consciousness is the state of being aware”

I tried to put all this together to understand what is happening in Syria, Iraq, Sudan, Afghanistan, Egypt, Burma-Myanmar, Palestine, Pakistan, Nigeria, Somalia, India, Pakistan, Tunisia, Libya, Algeria, Philippines, Colombia, Yemen, Congo, Thailand, Mali and of course our famous Lebanon…

How can a “human” who belongs to “Humanity” install a car bomb and walk away…
Or how can a “human” who belongs to “Humanity” fire a chemical poison-gas chemical missile targeting civilians mostly children in their sleep…
Or how can a “human” who belongs to “Humanity” go after his co-citizen holding a cleaver to slaughter him…
Or how can a “human” who belongs to “Humanity” fire on his co-citizen for the stupidest reason that the other belongs to a different religion or political party or simply has a different point of view!

How does this “human” kill someone, no, more than someone, tens, hundreds, thousands of people, then go back, eats his meal and goes to sleep…How does his brain function? How does he rationalize his act??!!!

I know it is not that simple, and those murderers and killers are nothing but the tool of a greater criminal who is orchestrating all these massive massacres…

But this is only one half of the problem…the other half is how we fall for the trap and go after the murderers, or after whom we thought they did it, forgetting that the orchestrator wants us to kill each other… and we do it perfectly fine! We never bother to stop and think, who is benefiting from this continuous blood shed… because we are moved by our instinct of survival… just like animals!!! With one main difference, when the animal does it, it is because the danger is real!!!

If we only take one minute to stop and think before we express any anger or hate or insult toward the “other” and accuse impulsively whom we like to think they did it, with no ground of our accusation… If we only realize that by posting our hatred, specially on social media, we are reaching to more people than we think, and thus contributing in spreading the hate and feeding the anger… maybe then we might be able to counter-attack and defeat this monster that is eating us alive…

Maybe then we can ascend to the level of humanity again…



Rania Hammoud, Life Coach
www.perfectmind.ca
www.twitter.com/Rania_Hammoud
Check also my blog at http://raniahammoud.blogspot.com 
Or http://raniahammoud.wordpress.com

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