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Friday, September 14, 2012

2012-09-14 – Friday Whisper – Who is Responsible for Your Happiness?

Do you feel unhappy? Because of whom? Is it because of your family? Your spouse? Your girlfriend/boyfriend? Your friend? One of your siblings or cousins? Your colleague? Your boss?
Is it because of a “thing” like your work? Your car? Your property? Is it because of your country? Your government?

Now that we know your unhappiness is caused by whom/what, next question: are you planning to be unhappy because of this person/that thing?

Next question: for how long?

Next question: do you realize that your own happiness lies in the hands of someone/something other than yours?

Next question: do you realize that you are giving this person/thing the full authority of deciding of your happiness?

Next question: do you realize that you are doing this willingly (consciously or unconsciously)?

Next question: do you realize that the same way you agreed (consciously or unconsciously) to give this person/thing this authority, you can consciously take this authority back?

Next question: do you know it is much much much easier to hold someone/something else the responsibility for your happiness than you being responsible for it? Why? Because otherwise you will have to move your butt/scratch you head and do something about it: more difficult!

I am not asking you to feel happy instead of mourning a dear person or feeling pain when a bone is broken. I am talking about day-to-day routine, because imagine you are unhappy day-in, day-out, if your life would be put in a book, what title would you give it?

I don’t want to hear “I am scarifying my own happiness for the sake of others”, because I don’t think they asked you to! Nor do I want to hear, “there is nothing that I can do to change it”, it means that you are dead-person-walking!

Even in love, your happiness cannot depend on your partner, because once your partner is gone, your happiness is gone too… your partner doesn’t want this burden either!!! Instead, be a happy person, which makes your partner enjoy staying around…

What you can do?
- STOP blaming others for your unhappiness
- Find a worthy purpose for your life
- Every day, when you wake up, assume the best
- No matter how you used to interpret the bad events, start doing it the opposite way: believe that events happen in your best interest
- Your happiness depends on your attitude, choose a positive one
- Adopt a surrender mind: accept that bad things happen, replace old goals by new ones and move on!

Dalai Lama said: “It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come.”

And John Milton, an English poet, said: "The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven."

Next question: Knowing what you know now, what are you going to do?

Rania Hammoud, Life Coach
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