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Friday, November 25, 2011

2011-11-25 – Friday Whisper – A Wall…


Only a wall that is left for us to share our thoughts with you, Anas…

I resisted writing about you, but I guess I failed… I said to myself, I’m not sure my readers want to read about death again…

Still death is something we live with everyday… although we will never get used to it, especially when we are losing a friend, teacher, colleague, cousin, son and brother like you…

You weren’t one of my close friends nor were you a friend I meant to call from time to time…But you were a friend whom when I used to meet you, there was always a kind of peace that reigns our short conversations… you were a person whom we meet once and we feel that we knew him for a long time…very calm, confident, always smiling, always listening to what others are saying, always contributing with his knowledge, humor and positive nature…

How you did it, I don’t know…how you faced your challenge with courage and acceptance till the last minute, how you faced your last minute? I don’t know… but I know that you didn’t give up easily, you fought with all what you had till the end…

With your death, I realized that sometimes we take our friends for granted, as if they will always be here, forgetting that death doesn’t mind taking away young people like yourself…. We don’t take the time even to write a simple “hello” message on their wall, from time to time, or make a phone call... Why? Maybe we don’t want to sound weird, calling or writing, out of nowhere, to say “hi”… Yet, once they leave, even if we write a whole poem on their wall, they won’t be around to cherish it…it will be a bit too late…(all of a sudden “sounding weird” for me sounds much better than “I wish I did”!!!)

With your death, you taught us how we can embrace our destiny, giving our best and leaving for God the rest…

With your death, you taught us by your great achievements, how if we live our life to the fullest, each day, we will leave with a peace of mind, knowing that we have fulfilled our duty, sharing what we know, loving whom we know, reaching out to our community, giving back and making this world a better one by touching positively people’s lives around us…

Thomas Campbell, a Scottish poet, said: “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.”

Anas, your wall is full of heartily thoughts from people you loved… Our thoughts are on your wall, but your memory will always be in our hearts…

*This whisper is dedicated to our late friend Anas Hamoui who left us at the age of 37 after a battle with brain cancer. May Allah grant his family patience and strength to go thru this hard time…


Rania Hammoud, Life Coach
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Friday, November 11, 2011

2011-11-11 – Friday Whisper – It Doesn’t Come in a Container…


Happiness, that is. I meet many who are expecting for “something big” to happen in order for them to be happy.

If get the dream job I want, I will be happy…
If I find my soulmate I will be happy…
If I move to my dream house I will be happy…
If I can make this amount of money I will be happy…
If I can find friends who care about me in a specific way, I will be happy…

We are always waiting for this day when something extraordinary will happen out of nowhere…meanwhile, what are we doing? Nothing or just few things, while waiting and waiting and waiting… and somehow, things never happen!!!

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong about dreaming big and asking for the stars…the wrong part is when we don’t enjoy what we have…

I came to realize that happiness comes in small doses, on different intervals, but we are so focused on what we want that we are always unsatisfied with what we are getting… It is not the raise you want? Keep asking for it while enjoying what you’ve got…it is not the house you want? Make it your home while planning for the one you want… It is not the date you were looking for? Enjoy the new coffee you are trying… It is not the gift that you want? Cherish the thought and time your friend spent choosing it only for you… It is not the in-law family you dreamt of? Enjoy the fact that your kids have a big family…It is not the spouse you always wanted? Either leave or find a way to enjoy the qualities and accept the flaws…

Don’t you wonder why people who got their dream job/house/partner/bank account are still unhappy or even commit suicide sometimes? Because they don’t know how to celebrate what they have…

Are you never content? Then not even a container of happiness (if it exists!) will make you happy…if you don’t know how to enjoy the small pleasures, your buffer of happiness will always be empty…

Why we do it? Maybe we grow with parents who are never satisfied with what they achieve or what we achieve! Maybe we are perfectionists… Maybe we are comparing ourselves to others and looking always to “beat” them in what they have…Maybe we are looking at the bad side of people/things… Maybe we are not accepting the reality that our life isn’t how we planned it or wanted it to be… Maybe we are not letting go of the person we think we should be…Maybe we are always having high expectations (that leads to bigger deceptions!)

And how it is working for us? We are constantly unhappy, something that leads to frustration, anger and eventually continuous aggressiveness…

Happiness come from within, if you are happy with yourself, you will wait for the rainbow after the rain, you will sing your preferred songs in a traffic, you will wear that lousy sweater at home to cherish your friend’s love, you will feel blessed having that crazy sibling/aunt/parent when others are family-less…

And remember that what you have now could be what someone else is looking for now… would you give it away? Even the only call/visit that you are receiving from your son? The 100$ raise you just got? The lousy car you are driving? The two-bedroom house? Would you?!

Live the moment, find a positive angle in everything you receive, look for the good side in people and nurture it, be easy on yourself, accept your flaws, embrace your life, rethink what you really want in life and set your priorities straight, follow your heart… and when you become satisfied keep wanting more and keep dreaming!


Paulo Coelho said in his book “The Winner Stands Alone”: “People are never satisfied. If they have a little, they want more. If they have a lot, they want still more. Once they have more, they wish they could be happy with little, but are incapable of making the slightest effort in that direction.”

A “reservoir” of happiness slightly filled is far better than an empty rusted one!

Rania Hammoud, Life Coach
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